What a gift that you finished your text. It‘s exactly what I needed at the moment, feeling so much with you. But, here comes my only “but”, don’t be so hard on yourself! You are good enough just the way you are, you are worthy, you are loved! (I’ve just read your article at 3.30 a.m. at the other end of the world, waking up from a nightmare, hoping for something to comfort me before going back to sleep, and there comes your article… if that doesn’t prove my case, what does?! God at work!)
I too struggle with some procrastination. For me waiting till people come over will I dust!! Being retired doesn’t help either, because I can do everything later. 😬 On the other hand, I love that we can co-create with God in whatever is on our plate to do. Thanks Mark, for your beautiful writing and your vulnerability! Much love 💖
I can't even begin to tell you how much this hit home for me. I am in a counseling/coaching group digging into these issues myself. I too am ADHD and I run fueled by a mix of imposter syndrome and a sense of absolute inadequecy. And because when I was growing up it was believed that ADHD only affected males, so I wasn't diagnosed until my late 50s - I had done a lot of damage to myself professionally and personally by then. And I too have a "nauseating amount of blessed bounty" but being raised and steeped in a family culture and belief system that self deprivation and self punishment for being inherently inferior are the ways "we" do things as we go out into the world. Or strategize to make ourselves invisible so we don't get made fun of or reminded of our unworthiness . Not good strategies for someone who runs an internet radio station and a music news website and teaches group fitness classes at gyms, huh? Thanks for the clarity!!!
I finally made it here!! Mark, I can so relate. The growing-up thing. I call my ages 11 to 51 my meltdown years. I am still getting there. Working at it every damn day. So glad to be here on your substack!
I procrastinated reading your post about procrastination, not sure what that makes me but your post reminds me that I think i am a weird person in that I do procrastinate stuff, but it is not the starting of things I procrastinate.,, like your midrash guy, i would be the first in the pool, but i do procrastinate the finishing of things that i have started, I guess I like the doing of it and don't want the doing to stop, but God has also pointed out to me that I am at my spiritually weakest when I finish stuff and I should work on that, so I put off finishing stuff as long as possible, but I am not sure that is what God had on mind. OK, enuf words, thanks for your post, mark. Good to hear you. I miss our old chapel bible study days.
Oh, I can relate! this is timely for me as I begin to pickup projects I quit out of fear of failure and in doing so hoping God will see my efforts and be with me and in the end call it good.
I love that, to "stop treating God as a divine Nanny and start seeing themselves co-creating the world they want." One of my favorite quotes is, "It is not about finding yourself, it is about creating yourself."
Midrash - Rabbinical fan-fiction. I love it!
Beautifully written with humor and humility!
What a gift that you finished your text. It‘s exactly what I needed at the moment, feeling so much with you. But, here comes my only “but”, don’t be so hard on yourself! You are good enough just the way you are, you are worthy, you are loved! (I’ve just read your article at 3.30 a.m. at the other end of the world, waking up from a nightmare, hoping for something to comfort me before going back to sleep, and there comes your article… if that doesn’t prove my case, what does?! God at work!)
I too struggle with some procrastination. For me waiting till people come over will I dust!! Being retired doesn’t help either, because I can do everything later. 😬 On the other hand, I love that we can co-create with God in whatever is on our plate to do. Thanks Mark, for your beautiful writing and your vulnerability! Much love 💖
I can't even begin to tell you how much this hit home for me. I am in a counseling/coaching group digging into these issues myself. I too am ADHD and I run fueled by a mix of imposter syndrome and a sense of absolute inadequecy. And because when I was growing up it was believed that ADHD only affected males, so I wasn't diagnosed until my late 50s - I had done a lot of damage to myself professionally and personally by then. And I too have a "nauseating amount of blessed bounty" but being raised and steeped in a family culture and belief system that self deprivation and self punishment for being inherently inferior are the ways "we" do things as we go out into the world. Or strategize to make ourselves invisible so we don't get made fun of or reminded of our unworthiness . Not good strategies for someone who runs an internet radio station and a music news website and teaches group fitness classes at gyms, huh? Thanks for the clarity!!!
I finally made it here!! Mark, I can so relate. The growing-up thing. I call my ages 11 to 51 my meltdown years. I am still getting there. Working at it every damn day. So glad to be here on your substack!
Thank you, this really resonated with me as I never feel good enough
I procrastinated reading your post about procrastination, not sure what that makes me but your post reminds me that I think i am a weird person in that I do procrastinate stuff, but it is not the starting of things I procrastinate.,, like your midrash guy, i would be the first in the pool, but i do procrastinate the finishing of things that i have started, I guess I like the doing of it and don't want the doing to stop, but God has also pointed out to me that I am at my spiritually weakest when I finish stuff and I should work on that, so I put off finishing stuff as long as possible, but I am not sure that is what God had on mind. OK, enuf words, thanks for your post, mark. Good to hear you. I miss our old chapel bible study days.
Oh, I can relate! this is timely for me as I begin to pickup projects I quit out of fear of failure and in doing so hoping God will see my efforts and be with me and in the end call it good.
I love that, to "stop treating God as a divine Nanny and start seeing themselves co-creating the world they want." One of my favorite quotes is, "It is not about finding yourself, it is about creating yourself."